Bollywood: as you like it and I see it

a.       It doesn’t matter if you are outnumbered by the goons attacking you, it doesn’t matter what arsenal they use, you will always emerge the stronger and the winner finally.

b.      Even when you have been knocked out of your senses in the boxing ring, you will somehow remember your mother’s words or the last vengeful words of your opponent and return back to your foot to punch the heavy-weight champion to his death.

c.       When you are with the heroine and she suffers a minor sprain, you are readily available to lift her (50+ kgs) in your Herculean arms and walk down the mountainous road even. Real men find it difficult to lift a 14 kg cylinder..Huh!

d.      No matter where you are when your lady is attacked, you practically emerge out of thin air to fight the perpetrator (omnipresent??)

e.       No matter how many girls he has slept with, the hero is always a good-hearted guy and deserves to be forgiven. The other way round is out of question. She must then be a vamp, not the heroine.

f.       In a moment’s notice you must be ready to dance around trees in forests, in the streets, atop stony mountains, in shopping malls to the disgust of the onlookers. Do not forget to carry a few changes of clothes; you will need to change your clothes for each frame, without a break in the dance and without the audience seeing you do so.

g.      Atleast one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

h.      A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

i.        Even when driving down a straight road, the steering wheel must be vigorously moved from right to left and back.

j.        Bricks, cans, drums, watermelons etc must be stacked/piled high up right in the middle of the street or by the roadside when the man/lady loses control, brakes fail or is chasing the bad guy.

Picture taken from www.bollywood10.blogspot.com

k.      Even when you are attacked unaware, you will always have a pistol hidden in your back-pocket to fire at the goons. Mostly, it will also be loaded. At times you will be able to fire more than the number of bullets it can hold. ;)

l.        The man/woman always knows how to dance, sing (even in heavy rain) and kick-box. Multitalented people!

m.    When the man is in trouble with the law, the lady always chips in to save him; she holds a degree in law, don’t you know? (never mind that we never saw her practice or even study, until now.)

n.      The people in the movies never go to office, they only go to colleges that look like Victorian castles wearing funky dresses, impress the other sex, get out of college to go to “foren” or return from “foren” to fall in love or marry. Even if they are businessman, they needn’t do any work. All their work is done for them by others; so they are free to sing, dance, romance and fight.

o.      Finally, some good news. The ladies are the healthiest lot in our country. They can dance about in skimpy clothes, including chiffon sarees even in Alaska! They have inbuilt immunity. But the men must be covered from top to toe, in jackets and heavy leather boots. They badly need some Dabur Chyawanpraash! Hic, hic.

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Fair and lovely, naturally!

"Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?"
And so asks the Queen in "Snow White and the 7 dwarfs"

We Indians are an obssessed lot. And some of our obsessions have taken a national form. Cricket, politician-bashing, fight against corruption, picking nose in public, spitting "paan" onto the road or the walls of  neighbour's houses or a public building. The list is endless or atleast long. Now we love colors don't we? We have a festival dedicated entirely to that cause. To celebrate colors. But our love for color extends to our skin tone too, sadly. That is where the problem starts(I don't know where it ends, we have too many problems as a nation). While the whites, blacks and yellows have been happily married to their colors, we the browns are constantly looking to brighten our tone, by a shade or two.

Fairness products available to Indian consumers

Open the Classifieds section on Sunday Times and you will come across innumerous ads seeking a "fair, beautiful, bride...." And cashing on in this obsession are the cream-selling companies. They promise to make one fairer by several tones, infact. Aah, miraculous indeed! If creams could enhance color, what do you think the entire continent of Africa and its populace have been doing for thousands of years?

Why can't we make do with the color we inherited? Why don't we understand that we are genetically disposed to have more melanin in our skin than the Europians and Americans? Where does this need for fairness arise? Back to the rat race. Well, if you need to get ahead of the others, then you must have "fair" skin. Because its been on demand since ages long. Fairness sells. Ask the stewardess of a certain airlines why she was rejected or the model trying to make it big on the ramp why she was dropped from a certain assignment. More often than not, it has to do with her skin tone.This discrimination is seen more in professions that focus on the looks. Beauty is more than skin-deep, ever heard of that? Amidst cries of foul play and racism by various organisations, the companies continue to sell dreams in the form of creams. And our heroes and heroines continue to endorse them without a hint of morality. Listen to SRK advising a dark guy to use "mard-o wali fairness cream." It's not okay for guys to be dark, that's his message. While he drew a lot of flak for this, you think he cares a hoot? We cry "racism, racism" every time an Indian is targeted outside our country while within the borders, we shamelessly continue to shove creams/lotions/powders down the throat of our own people after calling them "dark".

With the advent of consumerism and the metrosexual male, they have now come up with fairness creams designed specifically for men. Ughh! Imagine men spending hours standing in front of mirrors lathering their faces with dollops of those gooey stuff. It's one thing to be well-groomed, presentable and other to be effeminate. Exit the tall, Dark and handsome men. Enter the Fair and metrosexual variety. Didn't I say we are nationally obsessed with color, our obsession having crossed the boundaries of gender too. Enough to make a guy steal into a girl's room to lay his hand on that tube(or so they make you think). Don't you raise your eye-brows if you happen to read, "Required: a fair, handsome groom/steward...".

And I have known women who have fallen prey to such advertisements in the chase to fulfill their dreams and ended up with rashes and dark patches on their face, the result of prolonged use of such chemically loaded creams. If we can celebrate the different colors of holi, why can't we celebrate our own skin tone? And oh, a word of caution for my dear readers: when you apply the cream, please ensure you smother some on your necks and hands too. Else you may end up with uneven skin tones in your face and rest of the body, like John Abraham in the picture(above).

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Celebrating myself!

Guess with women's day round the corner, its time to throw humility into  the air for a while. So what’s that thing about myself I would want to celebrate? It’s the quality of being a woman. Celebrating myself is like saying “celebrating the woman in me”, because I am synonymous with womanhood.  I can be a daughter, a friend, a partner, a professional and mother all molded into one at the same time. Multiple role personality. Meeting the expectations of our families and making a career for oneself translates to donning several hats and juggling multiple roles, something I can do with ease. I celebrate that.

"The Woman"clicked by me in Pottery town, Bangalore.

Being a woman in a society that has been pre-dominantly male-centric isn't a joke by any means. There are the low-downs that come with it. During our growing up years we are taught that there are things we cannot do because we are woman. We are physically not as priviledged as our male counterparts. While biologically we may be a disadvantaged lot, there are aspects of a woman’s mental and phsychological attributes that are unique to a woman. We are a compliment to the other group, no less. There are things I can do, because I am a woman. I celebrate that knowledge and feeling about myself.

Women are incessantly laughed at for being irrational and lacking accountability but it is the woman who lends that humane touch to an otherwise dry world that is driven by logic and reason. I celebrate my compassionate nature and intuition which are the essence of being a woman.

I celebrate the feeling that comes with knowing who you are and what you stand for and standing for my rights as an individual. I am a modern woman who is understanding of her various roles and yet is assertive. In a society where women are expected to dress according to rules set by the other section, I represent a woman who knows it is not she who needs to dress “appropriately” but the other section who needs to change their "attitude".

Knowing my limitations while understanding the strengths and leveraging them to fulfil my dreams, makes me a quintessentially strong woman in today’s progressive world. I have learnt to enjoy myself and my life without being apologetic about it. I do get a few curious looks and "not-so-welcome" queries now and then, but I simpIy love being who I am. I celebrate me, in body and spirit. Cheers to me! 

This post has been written in response to the contest being hosted by "Women's web", http://www.womensweb.in/articles/celebrating-myself/

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Surrogate Advertising

What do I write about that will click with most of ya'll if not all? We all watch the idiot box(some more, some less) and have been witnesses to the intermittent streaming of ads that seem to take up more air-time than the actual show.

Surrogate Advertising. It's possible that not many of you are aware of what it is even though you have seen it happening. Let me proceed to enlighten you thus. I heard this term many long years back when taking a stroll through the bylanes of the city(I dwell in) one evening, two eager looking lad and lady approached me with a piece of paper, pen in hand and a question in their lips - "Ma'm, do you know what's SA?" Me - "What the heck! Ofcourse I know what surrogate means and applying that to the concept of advertising, I know what you are talking about." Clever me, you say(chuckle). The lad and the lady both were Business Administration students from a certain local college working on a project. Okay, now getting down to business, let me tell you that duplicating the brand image of one product extensively to promote another product of the same brand(why? we'll see shortly) is SA. Packaging old wine in new bottle, so to say. Oops! I hope people reading this are all above 25, the legal age for drinking as proscribed by the law of our country. By the way, do they ask you for your birth certificate when you are out there buying a drink over the counter or when you pick a bottle for yourself? Whatever..I'll never know. Examples of SA - CDs, sodas, etc by a certain brand name are used to actually sell other products(banned). See image below.

The Surrogate and the Real

We all acknowledge that advertising plays an extensive role in creating awareness and brand value. Not without reason do you see these companies roping in the likes of Amitabh Bachhan or the "Badshah of Bollywood" to endorse their products. So what if they wouldn't use those products themselves in their personal life. Huh! It's the moolah that matters, for either side. Ethics can take a backseat. The fact of the matter is liquor and cigarettes have a ban on them, as far as direct advertising goes. While cigarettes are known to have an adverse effect on one's health, liquor is considered to have a sociological impact too. Hence these two products come under the scanner like no other. To bypass the law, brands resort to what is called as SA. And that defeats the very purpose of banning advertisement of the aforesaid products. A clear case of using the loopholes in our legal system to bend its own arms to further their bizness. An illegal act that must be curbed. That's what the two kids were trying to educate me about.

Whether banning advertisement of such substances through the mass media actually leads to reduced consumption is another matter altogether. Just like writing "Cigarette/tobacco smoking is injurious to health" in big, bold letters on the pack doesn't deter one from lighting the fire. So much for statutory warnings! I'm not going to harp much upon this topic for now. That's something I'll leave for times  jab mil baithenge hum, tum aur Bagpiper(you know who that is?) over a cup of..er, glass of.....and Khoob jamega rang, I promise.

All I wish to do is enlighten you(my mindful readers) about what's happening in and around us. Did you hear the Chhote Nawab saying "Its your life, make it large"? Next time you do, you'll know what exactly he means. And what that actor and the brand he is endorsing is doing when they say...Men will be men! Don't we all know that somehow? ;)  

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At the beach, I sat atop a moss-covered rock and watched the crab walk past by while the sun shone over my head. My water-soaked feet I lay bare to dry. The silica was all shine and shimmer and the waves washed themselves ashore incessantly..foaming and frothing at the edges.

It was early morning and the fishermen readied their boat and fishing-net. To set out on another journey of a lifetime of toil and sweat. My curiosity notwithstanding, I asked him a questions few. Do you think you will have a good enough catch? What if a storm blows? What if the tides are high? A nonchalant look and a equally composed response - "Worry not. I'll have enough to buy my daily bread while you sit and wait."

As he valiantly waded into the water, knowing fully well that this may very well be a one-way trip, he makes no bones about it and tells me in a matter-of-fact way - "This is what I do for my survival. What if.....? Well, this is life and life will go on. We have to take some risks to get what we want and sometimes it could be at the cost of our own life. There resides an oppurtunity out there which I must explore and until I set out, I'll never know. So set out I must, come rain or snow."

Truer words were never spoken. As he set sail rowing his oar, I watched in silence till the silhoutte vanished over the horizon. A flurry of thoughts swept through my otherwise unhurried mind of a saga of survival, a battle fought and won.

The day grew long and I grew restless. Plentitude of men and women now were all around me. Came one, came all. In sea-shells, pearls and consumerism, the shore was abound. After a brief pause to whet my appetite I returned to my much-held ground hoping to see the man I had spoken to earlier, return. And then there appeared many a dotted objects on the water, far away from the shore. Someone shouted, "They are here."

Quickly, I saw them row...the muscles in their arms twitching as they did so. I jumped down from my rocky seat and stood waiting for them to row ashore. As they did and emptied their catch into the baskets laid out by their waiting brethren, I saw Silver Pomfret, Seer fish, Prawns, Crabs, Tilapia, Catfish and a host of other species unknown to me. They shouted all kinds of names and rates. I clicked a few of them with my point-n-shoot and gave way to the sea of people around me, flocking to begin their fishy business.

Having had my fill of pictures taken and glad to have seen the other side of life that lay beyond, I returned back to my room satisfied and long after they were said, the words of the fisherman reverberated in my ears - "Out there lies an oppurtunity which I must explore and until I set out, I'll never know. So set out I must, come rain or snow....."

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The monk who wouldn’t buy a Ferrari



From my treasure trove

I’m no monk myself but I also wouldn’t buy a Ferrari either, given all the money in the world. Wisdom says you don’t live long enough to experience everything there is, yourself; which is why you need to learn from other folks’. It is last year that I adopted the philosophy of kaizen into my life. An ancient Oriental concept of constant and never ending improvement. The purpose was to enrich and empower myself and live an inspired life.


It has been a journey of transformation. During this journey I have made a few things, a part of my life that has added meaning to it. One of them being books, mostly self-help books. I have always loved reading; I only rediscovered my passion last year and consciously set a goal to read atleast one book per month. Modest and realistic. To this effect, I have read 11 books so far and I am bang on target up till now. I also decided to read only books that would help me add to my cup of self-knowledge (I had picked up two others; one by Upamanyu Chatterjee and another by Amitav Ghosh. One lies half-read till date and I don’t see myself finishing it anytime in this life, regretfully). The one book that stands apart in this category and will be in the foremost row of my library in the coming years is Robin Sharma’s “The monk who sold his Ferrari”. I was already walking the path to self-discovery and enlightenment and coming across this book only helped me re-inforce my faith in what I had already learnt and knew to be true.

I don’t like reviews myself so I don’t offer the same to my readers. I will only attempt to sum up the wisdom from Robin’s book in a nutshell and in my own words.

What it is that you want to leave behind or what it is that you want to be remembered for long after you are gone?

Do you in your twilight years wish to reflect back and regret or wish to recollect with pride and joy?

Will it be enough for you to just say you have lived and done what every Tom, Dick and Harry did?

What does a “fulfilled and satisfied” life mean to you?

What are those few things you would want to do before you die?

If you do not yet know the answers to these qs, it’s time you did some soul-searching.

Living in the times of instant coffee and nirvana I realize that the attention span of readers is getting smaller and smaller. Hence brevity is the order of the day.

If you are still walking this earth, you haven’t yet fulfilled your life’s purpose. Go find yours and live it.. Crisp, clear and simple enough?

From the writer's desk: This post has been emailed to Robin Sharma (wisdom@robinsharma.com) as an acknowledgement of the positive effect his book has had and my note of thanks for something I find worth revisiting every now and then.

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All smoke and no fire

That's probably how you would choose to describe our country's politicians. But then, that's also what the new age cigarette is about. Its called the e-cigarette. But the smoke has been replaced by nicotine vapour! Talk of being in the e-era. First we had this e-mail thing take over the world by storm many years back. Then came many other of those "e-things" that have transformed our existence painfully into a virtual one and the latest to join the bandwagon now being the "e-cigarette". Reading about it in the daily one morning and imagining how one would look while inhaling puff from a device gave me a funny feeling. Sounded more like the vapor inhaler I was given post surgery to help ease my breathing problem, except that the vapor I inhaled was made of a liquid we are all too familiar with - water. With the new thing in town now, the joke about the cigarette being a thing with fire on one end and a fool on the other will have to go through a makeover. And then the saying "there's no smoke without fire" will have to be read as "there's no vapour without nicotine solution". The statement has lost its punch with the fire element gone, literally. And you'll have to carry about with you a battery adapter/charger to charge the cigarette-like looking device. 




e-cigarette

Smoking has been banned in public places. Yet oft I found myself waving off smoke billowing from some "not so friendly neighbourhood"(read bus stand or maybe even a public building) and staring stone-cold at the perpetrator who then inched away hesitantly. Sometimes I have even had to approach some to let them know that they are actually violating a law post which, I had to be at the receiving end of cold stares. I haven't noticed much of these signages educating people about the ban in any of the deemed public areas. It's not too difficult to understand why. News is that soon these battery-powered devices will be stationed in theatres, airports, etc to allow people to smoke LEGALLY in public places! Huh! Which other country in the world has such law and administration that first bans an activity calling it illegal and then makes provisions for its citizens to "legally" pursue the very same activity in full public view?? No prizes for guessing this one.

The debate in favor of the e-cig is that it will help folks kick the habit and that it is less carcinogenic. Nothing can be further from the truth. The market is already abuzz with competition among brands to lure in customers with interesting flavors such as cooling menthol and fruity strawberry. For those who cannot live without letting off some smoke, their family/friends can look forward to a little less annoying time with the suffocating smoke, that's all there is to the e-cigarette story. For now, let them stop smoking and start vapourising.

Statutory warning: Cigarette smoking is injurious to health, be it "e" or otherwise.

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Eat, Pray, Live

 

Below is a list of tried and tested(not borrowed) stuff that I believe each one of us should do to make our lives better. Have a read :
                                                                                                         

1. Be yourself. It doesnt help being someone else, really. If you're not true to yourself, you can't be true to others.

2. Listen to what others have to say. But do what you think/know is best for you

3. Be acceptable of change. Adapt. Change yourself when needed.

4. Be grateful about what you have. Live in gratitude. Rem that man who lamented not having shoes until he met a man without a leg?

5. Forgive. Easier said than done, I know. But if you do, you'll feel light. If you cant, atleast try to forget. Even that helps to an extent.
6. Meditate. No you dont have to pack off to the Himalayas or become a sage. You can do it right in your home...after making sure you have the right ambience.
7. Eat well, eat right. Its your body. If you don't take care of it, who will?



Julia Roberts on a trip to India. She embraced Hinduism during the visit so she can "chant, pray and celebrate" her life.

8. Exercise regularly. Even 30 mins of brisk walking helps. Its proven.
9. Pray. There's no better way to connect "Upwards" than to spend some time talking with Him.
10. Live. Don't just survive. Give it your all and you won't regret. After all, you'll get only one chance to be around.
11. Learn from your mistakes. Experience is a teacher. It helps you become wise, if not wiser. ;)
12. Have dreams. Yes, I said 'dreams' n not 'a dream'. They will help you stay charged and directed. Having more than one helps ensure that when one is fulfilled, you have another one to live or die for.
13. Spend time with Nature, once in a while. Take time off to wander off. You will return rejuvenated.
14. Do something you love. Find some time just for yourself whenever you can, to do that one or two things that make you happy. Be it watching a movie, eating your fav food or reading, listening to music, whatever.
15. B positive. No, that's not my blood group. But its what will help you gain control when you feel things are slipping out of your hand. Know that whatever happens, happens for the best. Its the Cosmic scheme of things.
16. Believe in yourself, your abilities. Don't underestimate yourself and get going.

This list is not exhaustive. There are many more things that you can do, should do. But as I said, this is "My list". Give'em a shot and if you want to give me kudos, I don't mind. :-)

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If pictures tell a thousand words, then these tell a short story

The Laddakh Story Slideshow: Sutapa’s trip to Leh,

When a friend called one evening to ask if I would accompany her to a trip to Laddakh, I knew that this could very well be my only chance and before I knew I had already said Yes to her.

For the uninitiated, Ladakh is the highest plateau of the Indian state of Kashmir with much of it being over 3,000 m (9,800 ft). It spans the Himalayan and Karakoram mountain ranges and the upper Indus River valley. It is renowned for its remote mountain beauty and culture. It is sometimes called "Little Tibet" as it has been strongly influenced by Tibetan culture.

The largest town in Ladakh is Leh. It is one of the few remaining abodes of Buddhism in South Asia. Leh has a cold desert climate with long, harsh winters from October to early March, with minimum temperatures well below freezing for most of the winter. The weather in the remaining months is generally fine and warm during the day. (Source:wikipedia)

Surprisingly though, the thin air makes the heat of the sun even more intense than at lower altitudes; it is said that only in Ladakh can a man sitting in the sun with his feet in the shade suffer from sunstroke and frostbite at the same time!

The highlights of the trip were Khardung La(pass), Chang La and Pangong Tso(lake).

Khardung La at a height of 18380ft above sea level is the highest mountain pass in the world and Chang La is the third highest. They are both all round the year pass.

All through the trip, we were greeted by terrains of diverse nature. A surreal panorama unfolded itself for the next 6 days as we drove round the mountains. Some were snow-clad; appeared to be powdered liberally by The Great Hand above, some wore desert-like look, some looked carved out from a BIG boulder resembling the Grand Canyon in the US. The changing landscape did enough to change the landscape of my mind and heart. The precipices and cornices of the snow were a delight to watch. Photography became a passion and we went trigger-happy. A word of caution though: brace yourself for some chilling temperatures by carrying some warm clothes and do take deep breaths whenever possible. Drinking lot of water is not an ill-advice either.

At Khardungla and Chang La, I was shaken, frost bitten and altitude-sick. A canteen that serves hot maggi in big, steel bowls is touted as the world’s highest canteen. The hot maggi managed to give us some warmth along with the tea/coffee.

Pangong Tso, which is almost on the India China border, lies some 14,500 ft above sea level. Here it is that you will be able to view the ethereal beauty of a lake, a salt water that is. A breath-taking view that captured my imagination for half an hour. A spectacular scene, never before in my life have I seen. A body of water; purple, blue, green, turquoise all the same time and changing continuously. It seemed like a painting..a masterpiece to be precise, by The One Above. Speechless, I stood gazing and soaking in the splendor for some time. Indeed, as they say Kashmir is the heaven on earth. When on a trip to Ladakh, be ready to open the windows and doors of your soul to Nature.

PS: This post comes as a result of some people asking me to share the story of Ladakh. Some also wanted to know how to get there, which isnt part of this post.

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Life….after Anna

If you say that I am a bit late in posting this, I may agree with you. But it takes time for the dust to settle down, you will agree. The cacophony surrounding corruption has died a natural death. The incessant fluttering of the Tricolor is no more to be seen. Assortment of all kinds of men discussing  the Bill and its two versions(actually three) and their after-effects if implemented; in various channels across the visual media is no longer the order of the day. The print media going gaga with a couple of pages or more dedicated to the Man with a mission possible and the Lokpal bill have all returned to their daily business. Groups of people, all shapes, sizes and ages aggregating here and there shouting slogans or taking to the streets on a protest march or sometimes a solidarity march no more hold traffic at ransom. Students who had a field day bunking college, all in the name of participating in a movement of their lifetime have reluctantly returned to their classes. All of India was in a carnival-like state. The Bill and the ball both are now in the Parliament’s court. The August Kranti’s over. Life’s normal once again. Gone are the days when all roads led to Annapolis. You and me have returned to doing what we were doing before it all began.

The Ramlila Maidan in Delhi and the Freedom park in Bengaluru bore the look of garbage dumps, strewn with plastic bottles, covers, food packets, etc. While hurricane Irene swept US, India went through its Hurricane Anna days. Buzzword of the month August were – Anna, graft/corruption, Jan Lokpal, fasting, democracy.



Common people of Assam lighting candles and protesting against state corruption on the bank of the Dighalipukhuri in Guwahati, Assam, India 08/08/2010. Picture by AMANB from DEMOTIX.



This movement brought a few points to light. Fasting as a means to register one’s protest or to bring attention to a cause still holds good in India. If that’s comforting news or not I’m not sure but it is surely a non-violent means. What however is definitely a comforting thought is that the nation can come together for a cause, other than cricket. Gleams of hope that democracy is still a Govt. of the people could also be seen. But the question still remains as to why a nation of billions needed an Anna to raise its voice against something as commonplace as corruption. Why we said – Anna tum sangharsh karo, hum tumhare saath hai (Anna you struggle, we are with you)? Why couldn’t we stand up for ourselves in the first place and why did it take so many years for us to wake up? This country is as much his as much it is yours and mine, isn't it?

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A ministral masquarade

This one is for you H'nble HRD minister Kapil Sibal. For asking a protester "who are you?" Having watched in silence the sordid saga of scams unfold one after another and the oversight by the Govt that have resulted in humongous losses to the Nation's exchequer, you have been earning the ire and fury of my ilk for quite sometime. This disdainful and uncalled for query of yours stinks of arrogance; adding insult to injury. May I then proceed to answer your question? I Sir, am a humble tax-paying, law-abiding, frustrated citizen of a Republic nation called India of whose Govt's, an elected representative you are. Simply speaking, I represent the public whose paid servant you are.

There was a time when democracy used to be defined as a Govt of the people, by the people and for the people. In your drunken stupor of power and authority, you have lost cognisance that the power you wield is provided by the likes of me whom you have taken for a ride, time and again. I am a bit of the populace that has to bear the brunt every time petrol prices go up, pay bribe to get a driving license, passport, property registered or even a ration card. I have had to grease the hands of all levels of bureaucracy from the lowest of rungs to the top each time I had to get a job done. If I refused I was asked to wait outside or come back later.

Not that we have not seen corruption before. But what we have seen in recent times is unprecedented. The public outcry and out pouring that you witness in the streets and elsewhere today is only symbolic of the outrage I and my countrymen have held on to in our hearts for long. Not to be discounted as quotidian's bustle. Whether a bill(law when passed) can eradicate a disease as widespread and deep-rooted as corruption is debatable but it can definitely serve as a means of bringing about greater accountability, responsibility and probity that your ilk have been evading for decades.

You may do well not to heighten the sense of outrage further with your uncouth foibles and rather employ your energy and skills to rework the draft your Govt proposes in the best interest of all concerned and salvage the last vestige of trust that people have in a democratically elected government; lest you be also held responsible for dereliction of duty when called for.

Do not henceforth venture to rub an already harrassed "Aam Aadmi".  

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Prerna - The girl child who survived

I pen this for Prerna. Who’s Prerna? She is the ill-fated, yet fortunate enough girl child who has survived to see this world by the sheer dint of her mother’s courage. Her mother willed and said no to the idea of killing her. Prerna owes her life to her mother, in more ways than one.

She was in the womb when her grandmother took her mother to a clinic for sex determination. The doctor said it was a she and that’s when began her mother’s ordeal. Her grandma decided she wanted nothing to do with a female child. What else is a female child other than a burden, a liability? First you have to feed her, educate her and then marry her off with substantial amount of dowry so that she doesn’t end up getting burnt to death or thrown out or maybe tortured endlessly and haggled by greedy in-laws. Her grandma wanted none of that; to nip her in the bud she had decided. It was her mother; resolute firm and unwavering that stood by her child’s right to live, first of all to be born unto this world with dignity. For her mother, she was just her child, gender regardless.

Her mother’s stance came at a price. She was forsaken by her husband and his family. For sustenance, she took up a job as a teacher (which didn’t come easy) and single handedly brought up her child. Today, Prerna goes to college and lives with zeal and enthusiasm amidst the penury that surrounds her; she manages to smile with pride. Her mother is her hero; for she just didn’t give her birth and hence, a life but actually “gave her a life by saving her from the clutches of death”.

For one such Prerna, there are many others who weren’t as lucky to see the light of the day. They died silent deaths – sometimes in the womb, sometimes in a tub of cold water, sometimes between two fingers that strangulated the tiny neck. And if the perpetrator had any mercy left, she was abandoned in the garbage bin or by the riverside or maybe a park. Many such Prernas live in the orphanages, who were chosen to be “orphaned” by their own parents and family.

Mankind and society cannot survive on the strength of the male population only. It’s not only against the Law of Nature but not possible as well for all practical purposes. The declining male-female ratio in India as recently published is one thing that the sleeping Govt. needs to sit up and take notice of. Of highest concern is the dwindling child male-female ratio; which has been reported to be the worst since India attained freedom 64 years back. Globally too, the ratio is on the decline. While Govts can enact laws against female feticide or sex determination or selective abortion, at the grass root level it is the responsibility of each individual to do away with this social evil that is deep-rooted in our psychology. Women are an integral part of the human society. Apart from the many socio-physiological reasons on why we need a stable sex ratio, the one that appeals to me most is – with no female child left, the human race itself will be on the verge of extinction since we definitely cannot depend on men to continue our progeny, can we? Woman only are gifted with the ability to create, until Nature or Science decides to alter that fact, we will remain dependant on the female mass to take us forward. So, please SAVE the GIRL CHILD.

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The nomenclature bizness

The Bard said, what's in a name?  Ask the lady strutting her stuff when she says, "The name is Sheila". Or you may ask even the Munnis, Basantis, Jalebi bai's or even the Dongs and Mogambos of yesteryears. Its in the name, dammit!

How else do you get your identity? When your mom wanted to whack you for damaging a piece of the household furniture or for feeding an entire tiffin box's contents to a street dog, how did she yell at you? By your name na? Or when the school headmistress wanted to recognise your talent and say a few kind words in your praise, how did she begin? With your name, right? So there it is.

Oh..then there are some generic names, like "last benchers". That is how one of my revered school teacher preferred to refer to anyone occupying those seats. The name says it all, you see? It made her job easy(lesser names to pronounce?) and spared the occupants from embarrassment, I realise. Symbiotic.

During the first few weeks of college life, we were collectively referred to as "freshers". On several occasions I was asked, "You are fresher?" Pitifully I had to nod my head in agreement(while inside a faint voice answered No, am Sutapa). We were even given pseudo names based on our predominant attributes and were barred from using our real names. By the end of the "Introduction fortnight", I had almost forgotten my real name having grown used to introducing myself  as "Swadeshi" day in and day out.

And then there are names that can make or break. If you are a Kalmadi, you may want to opt out of "Suresh"or even "Maria" if you are a Susairaj. But a Rahul may have different repercussions depending on whether you end it with a Mahajan or Gandhi. Wot say? You must have heard about the naming game being played recently. Oh, I mean the games that the likes of "Raja of 2G" play when they are caught and cornered.

Lastly there are names I believe that have stuck to each one of us in some inexplicable way, which do the job of blissfully transporting us to a netherland like Humpty Dumpty, Little Miss Muffet, Mary who had a little lamb or even Jack and Jill who went up the hill? Have you met any of them lately? Not me, I hear they are not around anymore. :(

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Hello Zindagi!!

What is it with some people who have a compulsive habit of jumping the signal at every opportunity? The other day I was waiting at a crossroad for the signal to turn green and noticed that there were still a good 20 secs left. But this guy just vroomed ahead in his bike with total disregard for his life and of those around him. How far would he go by being ahead of others by plain 20 secs..I pondered. Was he running for his life? So, it seemed. I admit it’s a rat race out there and only the fittest survive. In this world of go getters, we need to be ahead of some rats at any given point of time in the race. But at what cost, is the question. And we can only get ahead of a certain number of rats in a lifetime. So, what do we do? Realise those rats, mark them out in our “target board” and start hitting them. That seems to be the answer, most applicable and correct, strategy-wise that people give me.

Sometimes, the rat you are trying to get ahead of will also be trying to get ahead of some other rats. In the process, if he succeeds you will be left with a new rat to deal with. So you must now adjust your gear, change the speed at which you move and begin the race anew. Phew, what a waste of time!

But hey, on one occasion you managed to get ahead of that one difficult rat. Now what? You still have some more to go. And so life goes on. Till one day, you are seating on a rocking chair by the window, reading a newspaper with your glasses on and trying hard to read the written word. The writing clearly says – You Have Lost...those precious moments when you could have greeted life with not just a hello, but could have asked her in and shared many a beautiful moments sipping coffee or tea and exchanging pleasantries.

Instead now you are left with a false set of teeth, a hearing aid and countable strands of hair on your balding head wondering what if….or wishing if only I had…But sadly, you would never know what could have been. My dear friends, zindagi na milegi dobara...so jiyo life while you can. Go slow, enjoy the views and experience the moments that make it and remember, speed thrills but kills too!

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The Social Networking syndrome

I call it syndrome because it has gripped the nation's pulse even more than H1N1 virus could fathom. And then someone asks me, how can you be called even remotely social if you are not on at least one of the current breed of "social networks"? Point. And then there were some who took a step further to define/score you on your "social quotient"(IQ, EQ, HQs are passe) depending on how strong your presence is on those sites. Well, so much for being a part of the increasingly tech-enabled world. You socialize technically, not physically.

Personally, I was averse to these sites until some months back. I believed they do no better than to consume a sizable portion of one's real life and transform his existence into a virtual one, literally. I was missing out something they said. What it is, let me find out and so I networked my way into the Web world. And lo, what I behold!! Someone's getting a makeover, someone a car. Someone acquires new found freedom, someone relinquishes his. Someone changes his source of livelihood, someone's got into parenthood. Nothing's personal anymore but everything's public now. "Social" is the new buzz word. Celebrate your "socialhood"!!

This Zuckerberg's one clever man, I say. He excels in the art of getting the cat out of your bag while successfully managing to hide his own skeletons in his well-guarded personal cupboard. He tricks you into believing that he has given you a platform to express yourself, to bond with some faceless "virtual" friend or even express solidarity with a cause. If you could nurture friendships over networks or fight a cause by clicking "like", life would have so much easier and simpler for all of us. A nation could have been salvaged. No? But none the easier. Didn't you socialize before they existed? What good does telling others "I love my Mom" do, if you can't say those words to her yourself? Or have you been tricked already into believing that your social existence has found a new meaning or credence because you have oh, so many followers who indiscriminately click "like" on your posts/photos? Facebook anyone, oops..thoughts anyone?

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed here are explicitly of the author.

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The fear rhapsody

Of late, I have been reading a lot about fear and its physchosis. First in a leading daily and then in one of its supplements. Is it worth talking about? We will see. Fear is irrational, we all know. If not so, how else would you explain a 6 footer jumping onto a bench on sighting a frolicking squirrel inch towards him, in a public place like a park or some portly 30-something lady, screaming "cockroach, cockroach..." in the midst of a board room meeting? Pritish Nandy says his fears define him. Rightly so, for him. But then we all possess some, in some measure and varying degrees. Admit it or not.

The question then is, how phobic are you? As a child, I had phasmophobia...from reading Vikram Betaal stories and watching ghostly serials in Doordarshan on leisurely sunday evenings. When in bed, I imagined all kinds of winged creatures and vampires hovering over my head and eerily transporting me to no-man's land and usually ducked into the blanket, perspiring heavily. This fear didn't last long however. As I grew, my definition of fear continually changed. I for one, always seemed to fear the unknown. I also realised that I'm claustrophobic. One fear that I haven't been able to overcome yet is bdellophobia(fear of leeches) having once encountered a nasty one, several years back. They don't bite, they suck..ughh!!

Too many of my friends are acrophobic, by their own admission. Some suffer from thanatophobia or necrophobia, fear of death which is unreasonable. Some are needlessly agyrophobic and have to look at both sides even in a one-way street, while crossing.

But to gain some extra nods and approvals or even sympathy when in a group discussion, you need to be able to highlight what you have and others don't. So, how about suffering from some exotic fears like hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia(fear of the number 666) or phobophobia(fear of being fearful)? In recent times however, it would be more appropriate to suffer from something like "fear of scams", "fear of excess cricket(for Indians especially)", "fear of tele-marketers forcing all kinds of loans down your throat", "fear of commonwealth which is actually not so common but limited to a few like Kalmadi"or even "fear of being in social company(sociophobia)"? Highly recommended.

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My experiments with food

You are what you eat. So then, what do I eat? Naah, I'm not going to give you details of my gastronomical routine nor will I feed you spoonfuls of nutritional chow. I'll try and see that I leave you with some food for thought though.

Born to Bengali parents, I have been given to understand that we live to eat and not the other way round. During my growing up years I realized, the truth was not too far from it, in my case. I could easily distinguish what tickled my taste bud and what didn’t. And as you see, I have no doubt grown up to be a self-respecting woman of many words, lesser degrees and an impeccable taste for good food. It is then, but natural for me to rant and rave about food. No?

As a kid, I was fed on heavy doses of the boiled, humble tuber with generous dollops of butter or ghee(clarified butter), and the potato seemed to be a staple veggie in every Bong home. At one point, I had come to the conclusion that without potato there's no life for a Bengali. Aah, but you learn and unlearn as you grow..that's what life is. And so my various sojourns, travel-wise and book-wise have taught me that this tuber is essentially eaten and relished by many a Scandinavian countries as well as the Americans and English alike. What we call as "aloo sheddho", they eat it as mashed potatoes.

Having spent half of my worldly existence outside of home, I have been lucky to experiment from a broad spectrum of recipes ranging from Kashmiri pulao with pieces of pineapple peeping at me from between the rice granules, a version of the Tamil sambhar prepared by a colleague's mother in law and not Mrs Reddy; mind you, and then some khakhras shared by a Gujrati travelling companion to a complete Keralite meal, cooked in "cacanut" oil and served the traditional way in plantain leaves. And not to leave out my own Bengali "nalen gurer sandesh" when in Kolkata.

Food now, is a matter of taste for me. Anything that tastes good to my palate, is palatable to me. On one occasion I remember having carried "Ilish maach bhaja"(pieces of fried Hilsa) when travelling back to the city from a vacation. Anxiously having made my way through the security check, hoping the smell emanating from my backpack would not give me away. Luckily I was through.

Food for thought??



But we must realize that all good things come to an end. So, my happy days with food too came to an end when my father was diagnosed with a serious heart condition. Dramatic changes in my food style led by my new belief that the taste of things lie in the mind and not in the tongue, followed. Now what could seem a karela(bittergourd) to you, could be a cucumber to me. :)

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